ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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