ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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