ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "we move".
You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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