ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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