ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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