ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you.
It's a debt collector.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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