ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Consistency is key.
You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only consistent thing about you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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