ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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