ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees are getting different memos now, mostly from a specialist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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