ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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