ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 4 OCTOBER 1977
Parenting is ten percent love
and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is. Then they leave and take both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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