ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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