ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Rise and grind.
Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a boat.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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