ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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