ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 15 JANUARY 1978
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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