ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question".
Zack has read your ideas. Zack would like them escorted from the building.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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