ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph.
The photo will outlast your sanity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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