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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER 1979
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
  2. Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
  3. Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
  4. You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
  5. Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
  6. You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
  7. Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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