ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 20 SEPTEMBER 1979
Every summit sends a very strong signal.
The planet keeps not receiving it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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