ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They posted an apology in the Notes app.
It was addressed to the fans. The person they hurt didn't get a screenshot.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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