ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They posted an apology in the Notes app.
It was addressed to the fans. The person they hurt didn't get a screenshot.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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