ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Inside every older person is a younger person.
The younger person is furious about the knees.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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