ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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