ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 19 FEBRUARY 1980
You started saying "oof" when you sit down.
That's the countdown, out loud.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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