ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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