ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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