ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline.
It has the growth rate of a fern in a windowless bathroom, and about the same future.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- The consultation runs for twelve weeks. The decision was made in week zero.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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