ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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