ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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