ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 8 APRIL 1986
You call your mum "for advice".
You call her for the Netflix password.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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