ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings.
It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing, and lost the person who asked how you were.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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