ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Your business plan has three phases: launch, pivot, and letting the domain quietly expire.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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