ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every parent has a favourite child.
It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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