ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 15 APRIL 1986
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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