ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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