ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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