ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle.
The kettle will outlast the excitement. Possibly you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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