ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Age is just a number.
So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than your salary.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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