ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 13 JULY 1986
You went "no contact" with your ex.
You still check their Spotify. They're listening to the same sad songs. About a different person.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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