ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
They were picked first. You're what was left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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