ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 10 JULY 1987
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You can't take money with you when you go. Your direct debits, however, will…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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