ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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