ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 16 OCTOBER 1987
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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