ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Monday is a core collaboration day. As, it turns out, is every day ending…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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