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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION SATURDAY, 25 FEBRUARY 1989
You call your mum "for advice".
You call her for the Netflix password.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
  2. Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
  3. Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
  4. Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
  5. You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
  6. Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
  7. The form needs a form. The second form is not currently available.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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