ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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