ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 24 NOVEMBER 1989
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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