ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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