ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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