ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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